DEER DIE-ARY.

Congratulations to my much bigger little brother, FrankenFeet, for achieving his life’s dream.

For each of the last ten Novembers, he has travelled to Michigan to hunt deer…and returned with nothing more than a chest cold and a case of foot fungus.

But this year was different, he–to quote Ted Nugent–“whacked” two deer during his first morning. And one of them was a six-pointer.

[For the benefit of any confused Europeans reading this, feel free to write me privately and I’ll explain what a “six-pointer” means.]

Yes…most American families will sit-down next week to a Thanksgiving meal of roast turkey with stuffing.

But at FrankenFeet’s house, the menu will proudly feature roast venison with stuffing.

COCONUT stuffing!

14 thoughts on “DEER DIE-ARY.”

  1. Believe me when I say, I’m not a big fan of hunting but the alternative isn’t any better. The deer population has skyrocketed in our area and anyone who’s hit one with their car can tell you that shooting one is far more humane. I’ve personally hit 3 (one being a 12 point buck) and almost everyone I know has either hit one themselves or seen them standing on the side of the road seemingly daring us to miss them when they dodge onto the road.

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  2. BeeP: “Jealous?!” Sorry…but after two years of virtual salivating over the stuff you cook (and photograph and post) every day, you’re not getting an ounce of sympathy from me.

    Cream: Thanks for the suggestion, but I prefer my venison over a bed of wild rice.

    Christina: No! “Sal.”

    C-Swiss: How many people can those two deer feed? The answer…me and four vegans.

    Nina: I feel the same way about Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

    Kurt: If it looks like a deer, smells like a deer and tastes like a deer, it’s really a grilled cheese sandwich. That’s the secret.

    Baco: I’m with you, bro! There’s nothing as fun or satisfying as a little heavy PETA’ing.

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  3. So this means he can retire his Bass Pro shirt that says “Vegetarian…old indian word meaning bad hunter”?! Congrats to him. My dad and brothers would be proud to slap him on the back and compare shooters or archery calluses, whichever the case may be. Next year, tell him to “go south, young man.” The conservation agents in the Ozarks are begging for the deer population down here to be controlled. You can practically pick them off from I-44 between Springfield and St. Louis…

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  4. Tell you what’s worse than killing and eating deer… it’s finding out you have to toss 75 pounds or so of the stuff because of all the conflicting stuff you’re told about how to correctly bleed and process it. That happened to us today. Mike was devastated! On the other hand, we’ve been given half a dozen deer by guys who shot but won’t eat. This is good for us because it means we won’t miss out on meat in our freezer. Considering certain other circumstances, this is VERY good news! ;o) By the by, I now know that I make an AWESOME venison stew! See Sal, yet another reason to come visit!

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  5. Stop with the feet … they’re haunting my dreams again. And you adding ‘and a case of foot fungus’ to the whole glaring white foot thing is fairly devastating.

    Not to mention the fact that your poor brother may be in counselling due to the revalatory nature of your blogging about his personal bits.

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  6. Unbelievable! I stumbled across your blog this morning. I, too, got my first deer this season (9 am opening morning) after several years of hunting. My first deer was a 6 pointer!! I live and hunt in Michigan. Amazing coincedence. Congrats to your brother. I can relate to his joy after years of being a buckless hunter myself.

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  7. Lone Wolf:

    Congratulations on bagging that six-pointer!

    I can tell you from personal experience that the only people happier than you are those members of your family that don’t hunt but love to cook.

    Enjoy your backstrap.
    Sal

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