I was just waiting for the right moment (i.e., a moment when I had nothing more interesting or intelligent about which to write).
Well, that moment has arrived. So…at the risk of incurring the wrath of Trac, I give you the first installment of “Grammatical Errors in Elvis Songs!”
Love me tenderLY, [“TENDER” IS AN ADVERB, ELVIS. IT REQUIRES THE SUFFIX “-LY.”]
Love me sweetLY, [OH DEAR, ANOTHER PESKY ADVERB.]
Never let me go.
You have made my life complete,
And I love you so [“I LOVE YOU” SO WHAT? SO DEEPLY? SO OBSESSIVELY? SO COCONUTILY?].Love me tenderLY, [JESUS! DIDN’T I JUST CORRECT THIS SAME ERROR?]
Love me trueLY, [LOOK…NOW I’M STARTING TO GET PISSED-OFF.]
All my dreams ARE fulfilled. [OH GREAT! NOW WE’RE TREATING VERBS AS OPTIONAL, TOO?]
For my darlin’G I love you, [“DARLIN’?!” HEY, ELVIS…I KNOW YOU’RE FROM MISSISSIPPI AND ALL, BUT…]
And I always will.Love me tenderLY, [ARGHH!!! LOLLY’S, LOLLY’S, LOLLY’S…GET YOUR ADVERBS THERE… LEARN IT! LIVE IT!]
Love me long, [“LONG?!” DO MEAN, “LENGTHILY?”]
Take me to your heart.
For it’s there that I belong, [WELL…AT LEAST HE USED THE PROPER CONTRACTION OF “IT IS.”]
And we’ll never part.
Love me tenderLY, [I’M NOT READING ANYMORE. I AM NOT READING ANYMORE!]
Love me dearLY, [GRRRRR…!]
Tell me you are mine.
I’ll be yours through all the years,
Till the end of time.When at last my dreams come true
Darling this I know
Happiness will follow you
Everywhere you go. [WOW! AN ENTIRE VERSE WITH NO GRAMMATICAL ERRORS! MAYBE THAT OL’ BOY IS LEARIN’ GOODER THAN I THOUGHT?]
I’m gonna take a stab in the dark, and guess that Sal likes Umberto Eco…what with yer fancy book-learnin and all! 🙂
But in all fairness to the King, translating his songs from the original German couldn’t have been easy for him hehe.
Oh Lordy. Can you do something about Space’s The Female of the Species. I am quite sure that bloke is singing, “The female of the species is more deadlier than the male”. Love the tune, hate, hate, hate that chorus.
Well it’s about time. As an English teacher I applaud this monumental undertaking. You could be busy for years!
Watch out Sal! Trac will definiteLY get upset with your dissection of her King!
Kurt: I like Umberto very much. He’s a nice guy, and makes a good sauce. However, I’ve never read any of his books. Thanks for the vote of confidence, however.
BTW…ain’t Nina Hagen the greatest?! Although my mother would be horrified if I were to bring her home.
Ms. Mac: “Space?” Uhhh…my musical development ended with Three Dog Night. I’ve never heard of Space, but assume that most parents of teenagers have.
Christina: It’s a far easy task that deconstructing Snoop Dog.
Cream: I live to torment Trac. She’s like a sister to me. Younger sister.
COCONUT!
It’s a far easy task? heh heh…nice one Sal. I was gonna ask you to correct some grammar papers my students did but on second thoughts….;O)
Guilty as charged, Wendz. I have a tendency not to proofread unless I’m being paid for it. This VTB Chat Lounge really, REALLY needs an “Edit” function. I noticed the error three nanoseconds after hitting “Publish.”
“It’s a far easIER task…”
I be sorry.
COCONUT!
Sal
Don’t sorry – I do it too – far more than I like really…anyway – you’re half-human/half-coconut so we understand.:O)
COCONUT to you too.
Sal – Horrified is an understatement!
Big Mamma
I played the Nina Hagen version of My Way for my Mom once, thinking that since she was a big Elvis fan, she would get a kick out of someone covering one of his songs in a modern style. Boy was I wrong hehe…she couldn’t hide the look of horror on her face.
Based on your writing style here, I’d highly recommend Eco’s Baudolino…it’s quite funny. Though I don’t recall any coconut being present in the novel 🙂
Now, I’m just wondering what Nina Hagen’s mom would say if Nina brought *Sal* home.
That’s hilarious! For more than 28 years my hubby has been correcting those pesky “ly” adverbs and has always sung Elvis songs with the corrections!