I’m not shy about my passion for coconut.
It’s on my mind nearly every minute of every day. I covet it when I’m awake. I dream about it when I’m asleep. When other teenagers were sniffing glue, I was sniffing Hawaiian Tropic suntan oil.
Of course, I can find coconut in Spain. But my recent travels to Chicago opened my eyes to a disturbing reality: By living in Spain, I am being deprived of coconut in its most exquisite forms.
It’s true! Every time that I stepped into a Chicago supermarket, I felt like Charlie Sheen stepping into Amsterdam’s red light district.
There were Mounds! And Almond Joys! And coconut cream pies! And German chocolate cakes! And Bounty bars! And Brach’s Neopolitans! And Hostess Sno-Balls! And my favorite of favorites…Raspberry Zingers!
And…and…and…I ate them! I ate them all! As often as I could! But it wasn’t enough! Not nearly enough!
Freedom, due process and a well-armed military are fine. But for me, the USA is all about one thing—highly-processed, fat-laden, plastic-wrapped vehicles for coconut.
God bless America!
Haha… most random post ever! I love it!
You would have enjoyed the birthday cake my mom made: German chocolate with coconut frosting. YUM!
Tonight, Shane and I were discussing what we’ll do during our week in Spain. I said, “Sometime we need to have lunch with Sal… remember me telling you about Sal? The blog guy?”
Shane didn’t remember. He thinks you may be a serial killer or bank robber on the lam. I assured him you were perfectly safe and as wholesome as Slim Whitman. (I’m not sure if that helped, because he doesn’t know who Slim Whitman is.)
I think once he is acquainted with your passion for the Q, he’ll come around. I am amazed how men can bond over grills…
Oh, Sal – this is sooo disappoinitng! You have pretty much listed all the reasons I thought I hated coconut. Although German Chocolate Cake has always been a favorite. How about bunny shaped cakes at Easter on a bed of green coconut grass and covered with pink coconut “hair”? Yikes!
I understand though – memories just can’t be replaced with anything other than the “real” stuff. I still have to open a box of mac and cheese every now and then – and it can’t even be Kraft -it has to be way cheaper than that. The store brand – 4/$1 when I was in college and I lived on ths stuff! 🙂
~ B
Ang: Tell Shane not to worry. I promise to leave my wood-chipper at home.
Beep: You sound like just the type of friend that I loved having around during Halloween. The type of friend who would trade all her Mallow Cups for Clark Bars and Zagnuts.
Oh my god, you are just so damn funny! Thanks for making me spit my tea all over the keyboard this morning. I don’t share your passion for coconut, but you sure made me laugh.
And Angie, how could ANYONE not remember Sal the Blog Guy??? I don’t know about the “perfectly safe” part, but I’m pretty sure you guys will come back from lunch in one piece. 🙂
Welllllllllll, Christina and Angie, maybe Shane doesn’t want to remember Sal the blog guy … didcha think of that?
You better check he doesn’t bring his wood-chipper at home (erg, Fargo eh?)
Oh and coconut … but what about all those ‘little bits of coconut’ that end up left in your mouth after the chocolate is gone.
Superb post Mr Sal!!
Sal,
That’s interesting…I’ve always heard that it was something else that was on a man’s mind every minute of the day. I guess you’re not the typical male…but then we all knew that already.
Mrs. TBF:
I’m…not quite sure how to take that “compliment.”
Oh well. Better coconut on the brain than…oh, nevermind.
Sal “Captain Coconut” DeT.
Sal –
How about a Malibu rum and Coke?
Brilliant idea, TBF. Mixing coconut with alcohol. Now, why didn’t I think of that?!
[Actually, I did. About fifteen years ago :-O).
Sal
The USA is all about two things actually — highly-processed, fat-laden, plastic-wrapped vehicles for coconut and ELVIS!
Talking of which – Elvis has left the building and is in the post! :O)
Sal –
Try this drink I just invented. Just put rum, pineapple juice, and coconut milk in a blender with ice. Whizz it up, garnish with a pineapple wedge and a maraschino cherry. I’m calling it….a Piña Colada!
TBF:
And if you add a jigger of prune juice, it would become a Piña Colonic.
Sal
Trac:
You mean…my Elvis air freshener is en route to Spain?!
Hot damn tamale, ‘scilla!
Sal
PS: Does it, by any chance, smell like coconut?