Nearly every Spanish home has a chrome, art deco-style, stovetop coffee maker, but coffee is best – and most often – drank in a bar. And there is no creature on earth that makes better coffee than a crusty Spanish bartender.
Spanish bartenders make coffee on large, steam-driven espresso machines. They use high quality, medium-roasted beans rather than the astringent, jet-black espresso beans favored by Starbucks and the Italians. A thick, brown stream oozes into cups propped below the machine’s chrome spouts, while the bartender simultaneously froths a stainless steel pitcher of whole milk with the steamer arm. Served in a ceramic cup or small, thin glass (but NEVER in a waxed paper cup), Spanish coffee is velvety, rich and flavorful. The well-established paradox that coffee, like roast chicken, smells a whole lot better than it tastes simply doesn’t hold water here.
But the language of coffee can pose problems for foreign visitors to Spain. I often imagine the following dialogue taking place at various bars throughout the country:
Spanish Bartender: Buenos días [in gravelly, tobacco-ravaged voice]. What can I get you?
Non-Spanish Tourist: Buenos días. I’d like a tall, half-caf Latte with skim milk and a light dusting of nutmeg…to go, please. And don’t forget to put a lid on it.
[Pause]Spanish Bartender: Buenos días. What can I get you?
Café con leche: A mixture of coffee and steamed milk – usually in a 50/50 to 25/75 proportion – served in a “large” (albeit laughably small by US standards) cup or glass. Most Spaniards drink this for breakfast. The bartender may ask if you prefer the milk caliente (hot) or templada (warm).
Café cortado: Coffee that is “cut” with a dash of steamed milk and served in a small cup. This is usually ordered after lunch or dinner.
Café solo: A shot of coffee without milk; served in a tiny cup. This is usually ordered after lunch or dinner.
Café manchado: A cup of steamed milk “spotted” with a few drops of coffee.
Carajillo: Black coffee spiked with brandy or anís (i.e., a Sambuca-like liquor). Wildly popular with older men.
Café Americano: Coffee diluted with extra water, and served with or without steamed milk. How embarrassing it is to even mention this!
Descafeinado: Decaffeinated coffee. You can request that any of the above choices be made descafeinado. Be sure, however, specify descafeinado de máquina (decaf from the machine). Otherwise, you’ll risk being served a cup of steamed milk and an envelope of instant decaf coffee.
If there is an artfully-lettered sign hanging above the bar area listing its various offerings and their prices, turn around and head to the next.
If the bar has a TV playing music videos, call the authorities.
If any of the bartenders appear to be younger than 50 or – God forbid – wearing hair gel, don’t walk…RUN!
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