A SIP OR TWO FROM THE STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS.

– Acme Low-carb Tongue Depressors, Inc. sent me to Stockholm, Sweden earlier this week. It was my first time there. But that was only part of the excitement. The other part is that my old Oktoberfest-stalking friend, “Anders the Viking,” made his triumphant return to Acme’s payroll. Anders and I are pictured above, in front of the Royal Palace. Yeah, they have a royal family in Sweden…and it’s not Benny and Agnetha.

– My friend Jesper was there, too. He played semi-pro hockey in his younger years, yet seems to have all his teeth. That, or he has a talented dentist. Say “Hello” to Jesper.

– Hey! They eat herring for breakfast in Sweden. And so did I. Man-oh-man, did I! About ten kilos of it. Every morning.

– Had herring for the last night’s dinner, too. I’m still pissed-off that there was no herring for lunch.

– And now for a short primer on herring. The pickled stuff is great all by itself. Non-pickled (i.e., red) herring is eaten with minced red onions and creme fresh (sp?). In both cases, a bit of Aquavit goes well. Right, Trac?

– My first night in Stockholm was a free night, so Anders, Jesper and I went downtown in search of dinner. We surveyed countless restaurants and after compiling all the data, I was able to isolate and identify the three pillars of Swedish gastronomy (beyond herring, that is). Those three pillars are the following: (1) French bistros; (2) Mongolian Barbeque; and (3) TGI Fridays. Huh! Who woulda thunk?

– Methinks I’ll keep my observations on Swedish obesity to myself. Why? Well, let’s just say that Scandinavia isn’t the only place where trolls lurk.

– If anyone should offer you a ride on a RIB, don’t pass it up.

– Here’s some good advice from the April 2007 issue of Iberia Airline’s in-flight magazine:

“When the aircraft has attained cruising altitude, the atmospheric conditions inside are the same as those encountered in mountainous regions at a height of 1500 to 2000 meters, and there is less air pressure than there was in the airport. This favors the expansion of the gases and liquids in the body, leading to swelling of the extremities–especially the lower ones–and, in some cases, bowel discomforts and flatulence. It is therefore advisable to avoid heavy or flatulent food from the day before the flight.”

– Oh?! So *that’s* why my lower extremities swelled during yesterday’s flight. Gee…I naively assumed that it was because of those Swedish girls in seats 34 A-D.

– And now for a public service announcement…

– Guns don’t kill people; people kill people. However…it’s a bit harder for one guy to kill thirty-two people using only his bare hands. For more on this topic, please see THIS EDITORIAL from my friend and uke guru, Pam the Nerdy.

– And finally…Happy Third Anniversary to my virtual BBQ buddy, Colin Minion. Sing with me peoples…”And many mooooooooooore!”